Christmas with Dementia

Christmas should be a time when families reunite, full of joy and celebration. For a family that is impacted by dementia this is not always the case. However, a bit of preparation and planning can help to make it a better experience for all.

Why might it be difficult?

Most of us look forward to getting together with family over Christmas, a house full of people, lots of food and perhaps a few glasses of wine. For someone living with dementia this could present a number of difficulties:

• Being in unfamiliar surroundings - with short term memory loss it may be that a different environment is very confusing.
• Dementia can make communication more difficult, especially if there are lots of people around and loud conversation.
• Many of us like a couple of drinks to celebrate, alcohol does not tend to interact well with dementia, only adding to confusion.
• The person with dementia may feel that they should still be doing the role that they used to do at Christmas, e.g. if they used to host Christmas they may feel that they should be involved with the cooking which could cause contention.

It is great to include your loved one at Christmas even if it does raise a few challenges for everyone involved. For them to be around people who love and care for them at Christmas will have a positive impact on their wellbeing.

What can we do to make it easier? 

A bit of pre-thought and planning can definitely make a difference:

1. Surroundings - try to make their surroundings as comfortable and familiar as possible for them. Perhaps bring their favourite clothes, a familiar blanket etc. If possible, choose a venue that they already know.
2. Group conversations can be challenging. Encourage everyone to engage with the individual on a one-to-one basis, especially children. Intergenerational interaction can be so beneficial for both parties.
3. Try to ensure that everyone has a bit of understanding of dementia. A 1 hour Dementia Friends Session helps people to see things from the perspective of the person living with dementia. Alternatively, search for Dementia Friends to find an online video.
4. Think about the main carer who may be worried about the change to the normal routine. I would suggest a discussion with them about what support can be provided by the rest of the family to make Christmas feel like a break for them.
5. Think about what activities the person can get involved with, a family walk, carol singing, a church visit etc. We all feel better when we are engaging with things.

Gifts

Gifts can be difficult to choose for older relatives, I certainly find my Dad the hardest person to choose a present for. A few ideas for someone living at varying stages of dementia include:

• A book about a topic that they have a particular interest in (e.g. cars of the 1960s, Van Gogh, ancient Egypt, 1950s film stars etc etc)
• A Twiddlemuff - I will leave you to look this up!
• A photobook of old family photos
• A playlist of old songs

If you want to understand more about dementia, my next free dementia awareness session is at 2pm on 19 January at Farnham Maltings. Call 01252 745444 or visit their website to book a place.

Alastair Shanks, Owner Right at Home GF and Dementia Friends Champion