Mum has dementia, is it time for a care home?

When someone is living in their own home and they have developed dementia some aspects of daily living may start to become more challenging. For someone who cares about them it is only natural to start to worry about them - Are they safe? Are they managing to eat and drink well enough? Are they managing their own affairs and keeping the house? Might they go out and get lost?

With all this worry you may feel that a care home would be a good option, to help keep them safe.

A care home should do just that, keep them safe and give you peace of mind. However, there are some other things to take into consideration:

1. The importance of familiar surroundings. One of the most common symptoms of dementia is short term memory loss. When someone with dementia moves out of their house there is a real risk that sadly, they will never again feel at home anywhere.
2. Independence vs. safety. What would the individual have wanted before being diagnosed with dementia? Personally, my independence is way more important to me than being completely safe. Anyone who knows me knows I enjoy taking risks, whether that is starting my own business or on the ski slopes. I would not enjoy being confined to a care home and would be happier taking the risk of staying in my own home.

Is a care home ever the right choice?

I believe that it is much better for people to stay in their own homes for as long as possible, feeling safe and confident in their own, familiar surroundings. If that person needs a little support from a loved one or from a professional caregiver to help them stay independent that is absolutely fine.

However, there are times when a care home may be the best option;

• Sometimes the individual themselves may decide that they would prefer a care home, perhaps being very sociable they thrive on continuous company.
• As dementia progresses it may become too difficult to stay at home with even live-in care not a realistic option.

There are some excellent care homes around locally that provide high quality care so it is not something you should be afraid of if it does come to that. I would advise you to ask around, make a shortlist and make a surprise visit to them to get an idea of what they are like before making a decision, ensuring that they can cater for your loved ones needs as their dementia progresses.

If you are currently in this situation and are finding it difficult to decide what to do for the best, I encourage you to visit www.rightathome.co.uk/guildford-and-farnham where you will find information to help guide your decision-making.

Alastair Shanks, Owner Right at Home GF and Dementia Friends Champion