End of Life Care
Broach the subject with tips from independent care advisor, Lynn Osborne
Published: 22/11/2024
Open communication about end of life care may sound like a daunting prospect, but it is so important – and so much easier to do in a relaxed environment rather than try to cope with in a time of crisis.
“After a medical emergency or accident, family members tend to be on the back foot,” explained Lynn. “Emotions are running high and it can be difficult to make informed decisions about what’s best for your loved ones. Making the time before a crisis to ask and discuss ‘what happens if…’ questions can start these conversations and give everyone a clearer picture what to do when the unexpected happens.”
Understanding this need for planning ahead to avoid the stress of the unexpected was a key driver for Duncan’s mother and older sister to arrange a family meeting to talk about their wishes, followed by a relaxed meal at the pub.
A family meeting
“My parents are organised and good planners,” explained Duncan. “They wanted to update their old Power of Attorney for health and finance to include myself and my two sisters, so it made sense for us to all meet in one place.”
Duncan and his sisters travelled to his parents’ house for a relaxed, open discussion around the dining table. Topics ranged from questions about Power of Attorney and where the banking and pension passwords are kept to healthcare and wishes for their funerals.
“It got a bit awkward at times,” admitted Duncan, “but we all know how important it was to have an honest conversation. By the time we left for the pub, the Power of Attorney paperwork was signed and the whole family understood that when needed, Mum would prefer to live at home with a carer to look after her. Dad is quite sociable and was more open to moving to a care home, should Mum go before him.”
The conversation is an ongoing one, but this initial meeting helped open up the discussion and get the ball rolling.
Conversational snippets
Discussing end of life plans and care over Christmas lunch may not be at the top of your list for a family celebration, there will be times when you are together over the holidays when you can start conversations.
“Enjoy the family time together,” encouraged Lynn. “You’ll be surprised when you can grab a bit of time to ask questions. Doing the washing up or going for a walk together can be just the time you need to have snippets of conversations that can help you to understand your loved ones’ wishes and plan for the future.”
“It is the details from these little chats that are often lost if you wait for a time of crisis to have ‘the talk’,” concluded Lynn.
If you’d like to learn more or discuss your loved one’s options for care, please get in touch with our team.
