Caring for Elderly Parents
Published: 23/04/2021
Caring for Elderly Parents
Caring for Elderly Parents – It’s a phase of life that many of us will have to go through, and it can be a difficult time for both parties. However, the good news is that you are here (learning about Care at Home and managing Care for Elderly Parents) – so you are clearly doing better than most!
For the elder generation, this phase will potentially hurt, a lot. It may entail giving up a degree of independence, and a potentially painful role reversal. Imagine someone who you have supported, and looked after all of your life is now the one supporting you. If this conversation/phase isn’t managed with the due regard it can be a difficult time.
For the “adult child” it can mean taking on a new level of responsibility, and finding the time in our seemingly always “busy” lives to help our parents. It can often be a tough pill to swallow. In these times, the adult children may have to have some very difficult conversations, and over the next few months I will be providing some guidance on how to navigate these. In the meantime, here is some guidance on how to manage this situation/phase:
Make a plan
Hopefully the recent coaching I have received isn’t too obvious – but all decisions should start with planning and communication! So here goes planning:
It sounds silly, but you need to think about what you need to think about:
- Who do you need to involve in conversations/decisions (e.g siblings, relatives, solicitors)
- How will you manage the care for your elderly parents over the next 2/5/10 years
- Do some research – being on this blog is a great start (have a read through our website for more)
- Keep it all written down, as you wont have all the ideas at the start – and then you can add to this
;)
Communicate
Communicate lots, and communicate early. If you are the person who has taken responsibility of a situation, it can be a lonely place. Taking on the responsibility that you may think should fall to you is fine, but other relevant parties need to be aware of what you are thinking about and doing – so that they have the opportunity to help.
Remember to also communicate with your parents – keep them in the loop about what you are thinking and doing.
Use technology, most families have a family WhatsApp chat group – use this or set up a new one if needed. Let your siblings/uncles etc know relevant bits of information. As a family, we all help support my Gran who is widowed – she spends her time equally between all of her children’s’ houses. Some of things we communicate about are:
- Where she will be staying for the next few weeks
- How her health has been
- If she’s feeling down (so others can come and visit her)
- Positive news – my cousin will often send us all a picture of a meal that she has shared with Gran; its so cool to see!
;)
Look after yourself
A concept I often talk about is “carer creep” – where a family CareGiver starts with just a few small tasks (shopping, cleaning, companionship etc) and over time a few more “tasks” creep in. Without noticing, you’ve become a full time Carer as well as still managing your career and family.
It’s imperative you look after yourself, physically and mentally. Following rules 1 and 2 above will help massively with this.
Tell tale signs of “carer creep” are not being able to go away at weekends/holidays without worrying about your parents and being the single point of contact for all decisions that your parents need to make. Its really important to seek help at this point.
Care at Home
When thinking about Caring for Elderly Parents – think about the care and support that someone external can help with. If your parents want to stay in their own home (like most do), then Care at Home is the perfect solution. Companies like ourselves provide support services that include:
- Companionship – we can organise trips out, or even just stay at home and provide someone with awesome company
- Personal Care – helping someone with their personal care needs is inevitably where a family CareGiver will get an outside care agency involved. We can help with all aspects of washing and dressing, and also whilst using all different types of equipment
- Live in Care – we can provide CareGivers who can live at home with your elderly parents to support them whenever they need it.
Overall, getting a home care agency involved enables an adult child to go back to being family, whilst we can be the carers. So often I am reminding family caregivers of how amazing it would be if when they came home to spend time with mum and dad, they were doing just that – rather than changing the bed sheets, cleaning the house and ordering supplies!
Here at Right at Home Solent, we provide award winning (check this out) care at home across much of the South Coast – Gosport, Fareham, Wickham, Southampton and New Forest. We are proud to be helping over 150 people live at home safely, whilst also adding so much value to their lives.
Feel free to speak to one of the team on 01329 233755 if you want any more guidance or support
Here are a couple of other useful articles to read:
https://www.agespace.org/becoming-a-carer-can-creep-up-on-you
https://www.carersuk.org/news-and-campaigns/features/advice-for-new-carers
Easiest of all – watch the following video which explains it all!
